Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 11, 2014
September 08, 2014
September 15, 2014
Transcript:
deleted birds not to birdwatchers. the following birds are no longer recognized by the audubon society. please adjust your life list accordingly. thank you. eastern pottymouthed snark assails bird-watchers with cruude insults & profanity. call - "get a life you what're you lookin' at take your binoculars and." great downy oftmolt difficult to actually see as it's often surrounded by a suffocating cloud of feathers. call - "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough." flightless grouse plods up and down the eastern u.s. whining the whole damn time. call - "ow ow ow ow my feet hurt my feet hurt ow ow ow ow." unmitigated gull this is one show-offy little creep. call - "look at this plumage! great, huh? you guys from national geographic? how about a picture? you wanna see my mating dance?" commonplace dullard no distinguishing marks of any kind, really. hangs around with other cooler birds who wish it wouldn't. call - "hey wait up wait up c'mon guys wait up."
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Yes, yes, the Commonplace Dullard is no more! I’m saved!
WaitingMan over 9 years ago
“Look at the grouse.”, Curly Howard
puddlesplatt over 9 years ago
I’ve got crows oftmolts…now talk aboot ugly>
OldestandWisest over 9 years ago
Unmitigated Gull, your plumage is nowhere near as beautiful as that of the Norwegian Blue parrot.
ChessPirate over 9 years ago
So, the Pee-ping Waterfoul, The Gamey Hen, The Flaming Go, and The Earworm Hummingbird are still safe.
DHurd about 4 years ago
Meanwhile the chicken of depression is alive and doing quite well.