Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for June 30, 2014

Heard any good jokes?

@Tony RubinoNot lately, I’m afraid.

Ok, as long as we’re telling blonde jokes:

What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel?

“Not again!”

Did you hear about the guy who went into a second hand store to buy one for his watch?

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? (stolen from Reddit.com)

Credit The Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book.

Four brewery presidents walk into a bar.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey, Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world. Give me ‘The King of Beers,’ a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water. Give me a Coors.” He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?”

The Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

Bev that is too funny because something similar happened at work without the blondes. 5 man crew, 1 with a jackhammer, 1 to pick up the piece, 1 to fill the hole, 1 to tamp it down and 1 to check the work. Hubby finally couldn’t take it and asked what the??? They were pulling up the old reflector holders before they repaved the street. .Anyhoo. Why didn’t the blonde like MnMs? The colorful wrappers were too hard to get off.

I first read this joke in Reader’s Digest many years ago…

Believe it or not…this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Why did the blonde lose her job at the M&M factory? She was throwing out all the W’s…

Did you hear car makers are moving the bright switch from the steering column back to the floor? Too many blondes are getting their feet tangled in the steering wheel.

Well, I got a few giggles, and YES I have heard many good jokes lately.

Could I remember any of them to tell?

NO

I’m a natural blond.;-D

A Catholic priest, a Protestant Minister, & a Rabbi all walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this – a joke?!”