Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 28, 2013

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Chagrin Falls "An Open Book" FRIED DONUTS Gavin: So I say, what's the big deal about government surveillance? I've got nothing to hide! Woman: You wanna join our customer loyalty program? Gavin: Sure. Gavin: They can look at everything I do, for all I care. Woman: Your name is "Gamal Singh"? Gavin: Huh? SCREEECH Gavin: Oh, ha-ha! No! Sloppy handwriting! I'm Gavin Smythe! Agent: You're coming with us, Mr. Singh! Agent: You live at 345 Maple St., Mr. Singh? Gavin: Yes, and the name's Smythe. Agent: Did you declare on your taxes the $250 you made selling NFL-themed beanie babies on eBay? Gavin: Uh... Man: In June, 2005, did you copy a Michael Bolton CD from the library onto your hard drive? Gavin: It's terrific! Have you heard the live version of "Soul Provider"? Judge: On January 18, 2009, did you visit a website called www.subrubanmilfs1.com? Gavin: Ah, heh-heh...You see, my wife Rita was out of town... Man: On May 7, 2004, did you text a confederate the message: "About to blow up"? Gavin: Ha! I'd just eaten a really spicy burrito with Al at lunch! Man: You were driving by a Federal office building at the time! THREE YEARS LATER - Man: Time for your cavity search, Mr. Singh. Gavin: Okee-doke. Nothing to hide. By the way, full disclosure: I used a pebble to scratch a picture of my family on the wall under my stool. The End