The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 28, 2013
January 27, 2013
January 29, 2013
Transcript:
Young Lance Armstrong: Okay, I'll race you- But let me finish my super sugar, taurine, caffeine, high-fructose, ginseng, fun-pop first. Young Lance Armstrong
Whoa there, Alexi- that’s a poor equivocation argument. We’re not talking about a drug to heal an injury or malady. We’re talking about gaining a physical advantage through chemical means that is a clear violation of rules spelled out for him all his professional life. We’re talking about severely injuring the careers and lives of those who tried to bring the truth to light. We’re talking about financial gain under false pretenses. The context is that he cheated and lied about it. Period.
And no fair wearing “Red Ball Jets” (“Run faster! Jump Higher!”). I can remember that from around Second Grade, yet I can’t remember to take my gloves in the morning. Maybe I should make a rhyme about it.
.Cold hands, warm heartDoes no good the day to start.Wear your gloves unless it passYour fingers freeze, you silly a—.
Whether I use coffee or aspirin or society recognizes them as legal but not others (except certain states, lol) isn’t the real point. The man committed to playing a game by certain rules and cheated on the game. Not only did he cheat his direct competitors but also anyone who ever bought or bought into his books. There are also, it seems likely, many young people who idolized and hero-worshiped him. His actions do not affect only him so if he is now mocked and ridiculed and scorned as much as he was worshiped that seems fitting. Good comic.
What I think is amazing about all that is how much was covered up by the Racing organizations. They draw the blood to test. Give it to a company who has accepted bribes to falsify the test results. Condemn the entire program!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The Tour De France loved all the publicity with Lance then knee jerked when they found out their own doctors and drug analysis company was taking bribes to falsify results.I can see the sign now.“For sale to the highest bidder. Drug free results.”At least he finished the races. Not like some clown back years ago who won a marathon by taking shortcuts then getting back on the track to win. Check it out it did happen.Hey lets strip Russia and East Germany and many of the old communist block for cheating in all the Olympics they have competed in. East Germany used to sex change men before DNA checking. There is no telling how much was done to enhance athletes performance by drugs of chemicals. How about some of the Bike race winners before of after Lance. They all claim DRUG FREE. Are they and were they the buyers of Drug test results.What Lance did was wrong by attacking everyone who accused him in his defense. If he had come clean at the first accusation fine. I think he should take down the entire organization. Name names and companies. But with names and companies like that he would probably have to go into protective hiding. These behind the scenes folks do not like light cast on them.Fix the culture and you can fix the problem.
I can agree with you on that. Military had these “pep” pills for us in Spec Ops. Said it would keep us going. THEY said it had vitamins and a pick me up. (I later learned it had amphetamines in addition to “vitamins”) I hated those things. I took one. I am hyper enough as it is but this sent me to hanging from the ceiling by my toes and doing inverted sit-ups. I could not sit still for 5 seconds and being very still was sometimes more important than being awake with the work I did. Luckily at the time I was on base so could ride it out. NEVER took one of those again. STRONG coffee or espresso double shots maybe.
Every game or sport has rules. Not everyone who plays cheats. Not everyone who cheats gets caught. Those that do cheat and get caught deserve whatever penalties they get. I applaud Armstrong for overcoming cancer and accomplishing all that he did, but I deplore the fact that he lied about how he did it- repeatedly- and complicitated others along the way.
margueritem about 11 years ago
Could be Honey Boo-Boo’s brother, too.
el8 about 11 years ago
DUMBSTRONG
Superfrog about 11 years ago
Wasn’t in the autobiography?
Linux0s about 11 years ago
You’re better off smacking them with it.
jreckard about 11 years ago
Tour de Lance
pcolli about 11 years ago
If we all stop giving the guy any publicity, he’ll disappear soon enough.
emissary555 about 11 years ago
Whoa there, Alexi- that’s a poor equivocation argument. We’re not talking about a drug to heal an injury or malady. We’re talking about gaining a physical advantage through chemical means that is a clear violation of rules spelled out for him all his professional life. We’re talking about severely injuring the careers and lives of those who tried to bring the truth to light. We’re talking about financial gain under false pretenses. The context is that he cheated and lied about it. Period.
emptc12 about 11 years ago
.Cold hands, warm heartDoes no good the day to start.Wear your gloves unless it passYour fingers freeze, you silly a—.
CYGNUS X1 about 11 years ago
Lance should give the other kids some laffy taffy and they’ll be in stitches!!
Herb Thiel Premium Member about 11 years ago
Whether I use coffee or aspirin or society recognizes them as legal but not others (except certain states, lol) isn’t the real point. The man committed to playing a game by certain rules and cheated on the game. Not only did he cheat his direct competitors but also anyone who ever bought or bought into his books. There are also, it seems likely, many young people who idolized and hero-worshiped him. His actions do not affect only him so if he is now mocked and ridiculed and scorned as much as he was worshiped that seems fitting. Good comic.
Digital Frog about 11 years ago
It used to be that you’d lance a boil, these days, people have taken to boiling Lance.
Vet Premium Member about 11 years ago
What I think is amazing about all that is how much was covered up by the Racing organizations. They draw the blood to test. Give it to a company who has accepted bribes to falsify the test results. Condemn the entire program!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The Tour De France loved all the publicity with Lance then knee jerked when they found out their own doctors and drug analysis company was taking bribes to falsify results.I can see the sign now.“For sale to the highest bidder. Drug free results.”At least he finished the races. Not like some clown back years ago who won a marathon by taking shortcuts then getting back on the track to win. Check it out it did happen.Hey lets strip Russia and East Germany and many of the old communist block for cheating in all the Olympics they have competed in. East Germany used to sex change men before DNA checking. There is no telling how much was done to enhance athletes performance by drugs of chemicals. How about some of the Bike race winners before of after Lance. They all claim DRUG FREE. Are they and were they the buyers of Drug test results.What Lance did was wrong by attacking everyone who accused him in his defense. If he had come clean at the first accusation fine. I think he should take down the entire organization. Name names and companies. But with names and companies like that he would probably have to go into protective hiding. These behind the scenes folks do not like light cast on them.Fix the culture and you can fix the problem.
danlarios about 11 years ago
how about some Gatorade with a dash of fire retardent
WifesWrath about 11 years ago
Lil’ Lance got his candy from a Baby…but he’ll deny that.
Vet Premium Member about 11 years ago
I can agree with you on that. Military had these “pep” pills for us in Spec Ops. Said it would keep us going. THEY said it had vitamins and a pick me up. (I later learned it had amphetamines in addition to “vitamins”) I hated those things. I took one. I am hyper enough as it is but this sent me to hanging from the ceiling by my toes and doing inverted sit-ups. I could not sit still for 5 seconds and being very still was sometimes more important than being awake with the work I did. Luckily at the time I was on base so could ride it out. NEVER took one of those again. STRONG coffee or espresso double shots maybe.
Popeyesforearm about 11 years ago
With an a$$ like that he should be putting up a billboard. I hear the US Post Office is looking for competitors.
bluskies about 11 years ago
Every game or sport has rules. Not everyone who plays cheats. Not everyone who cheats gets caught. Those that do cheat and get caught deserve whatever penalties they get. I applaud Armstrong for overcoming cancer and accomplishing all that he did, but I deplore the fact that he lied about how he did it- repeatedly- and complicitated others along the way.