Strange Brew by John Deering for January 01, 2010

Oh dear, that sounds like me…..

TOO high to think, i’am going to bed.

“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly. “Yes, I have been reading Voltaire,” Tom admitted candidly. I could go on…

“Take the prisoner downstairs,” he said condescendingly. “I’ve eaten too much bread,” he said painfully.

You’re reminding me of the early sixties. My mother and father and sister and I would stay awake at night thinking of new Tom Swifties to relate at breakfast.

????????????????

Tom Swift!

‘I have not thought of Tom Swift since that conk on the head I received in grade school” he remarked absently.

My favorite novel in the series is Tom Swift and His Cinema of Transgression Adventures. Why you ask… because it is the only one I have ever read.

“Place the prisoner in the electric chair,” said Warden Tom conceitedly. “And throw the switch,” he said concurrently.

“I have discovered an expert,” said Tom profoundly. Hey…I just made that up myself! Thanks for the inspiriation, jtpozenel!

“I’ve read Pride and Prejudice ten times” Tom said ostentatiously.

“My father’s sister had a sex-change operation,” said Tom buoyantly.

“My mother’s sister has 16 personalities,” Tom whispered sibilantly.

“She’s married to my uncle, but I don’t know her from Adam,” Tom stated adamantly.

“I’m proud to say that I caught the biggest trout” Tom said superficially.

I love you guys. (Tom said gaily). That one started as an ordinary post, and I realized I could Swifty it.

“I used to live in the Argentine plains” Tom said pompously.

I don’t know if you will accept these, because they are in a different form:

“I broke my leg when I jumped out of the Boeing 747” Tom explained.

“Give up your life of prostitution!” Tom exhorted.

And you may not know that Tom eschewed alphabet soup.

You’ve all left out his most well-known - “It gets lonely on the farm”, Tom said sheepishly.