Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for October 17, 2019

Please don’t use that four letter word again!

The first 3 letters of diet are DIE!

Aw, gee Aunty… just when I was getting ready to wax eloquent on the benefits of a ketogenic diet!

Who ‘ya pointing that huge finger at, Aunty? Bugs Bunny?

I utilize the Multiplication Diet. We learned our multiplication in elementary school. What is 0 (zero) times any number? Zero! So eat a bowl of ice-cream with all the toppings or a huge slab of cake (bazillion calories) with a glass of water (zero calories). Zero times any number is…zero! You may now do a face plant in a box of donuts.

People especially don’t want to hear about the diet for people who don’t need to diet.

’Member when iceberg was the ONLY kind of lettuce there was?!? Of course, any SANE person knows the lettuce is only the delivery method for the dressing. . .lemon, oil and vinegar, vinaigrettes . .

I’m on a see food diet. I see food and I eat it.

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may diet.

Kale! Kale! The gang’s all here!

Vogons: stop with the poetry and preaching. Eat what you want and shut up!

Roasted cabbage with salt and olive oil on it isn’t bad….

But, I Like Lettuce.

With Lots of Blue Cheese dressing on it.

The darkest, greenest leaves in a sandwich.

Oh, come on! Why not lettuce have some fun?