Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 15, 2020
Transcript:
some new love poems for you to use a plea in matters of the heart you are a slippery caddish poseur. go, defenstrate yourself and give us both some closure. le manure d'amour red is the rose, blue is the violet. first you shovel, then you pile it. from one with low expec-tations what bliss to spread out on the couch and hear your belly growlin'. the sounds you make intestine-wise can set my passions howlin'. o rapture! how i palpitate! my pulse, it grows unstable- when you go reaching for a beer and spill it on the table! and so, instead of hearts this year, my gormandizing lummox, i'm sending you a card festooned with ornamental stomachs. my love bard: my love is like a red, red boil that really needs to pop. but now i'm out of imagery - i think i'd better stop.
These poems bring to mind an early 20th century poet named Edgar Guest, of whom Dorothy Parker once wrote; “I’d rather flunk my Wassermann test than read a poem by Edgar Guest”. Dorothy would’ve loved Richard’s brand of wit.