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Pearls Before Swine

By Stephan Pastis
May 25, 2013
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Rat: Hey, Pig, lemme borrow that pen.
Pig: Oh, gosh, Rat... I'd like to, but these are special pens, and this is my second to  last one.
Rat: What's so special about them?
Pig: They're the ultimate writing instrument. I use them to keep score when I play team frisbee. Plus, they all have famous people on them.
Rat: Who's that on there?
Pig: That's Sean Penn. He's my favorite actor.
Rat: Where'd you buy them?
Pig: At the university of-
Rat: Stop!
Pig: What?
Rat: Please don't say the university of Pennsylvania.
Pig: Why?
Goat: Because that would be your penultimate penn ultimate ultimate penn pen.
Rat: Does the word 'shame' mean anything to you?
May 27, 2013
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