Kids do this. They learn very quickly to tailor their tactics to their targets’ responses. I’ve seen a child fall down, look around, see that Mum’s not watching but I am, discount me, wait several seconds until Mum turns around and then burst into floods of “tears”. And I’ve seen kids who would regularly behave like little angels for hours for the carers at playgroup (kindergarten), then throw tantrums as soon as their parents walk into the room to collect them.
It’s actually one key to having well-behaved kids. Don’t reward bratty behaviour with too much attention, either positive or negative (looking at them in silence to let them know that you’ve seen them and aren’t buying it is not only OK but good), and they very quickly switch to trying other approaches with you. THEN give them attention. Positive rewards for positive behaviour work much better than other approaches. (Father of 4 and grandfather here.)
Kids do this. They learn very quickly to tailor their tactics to their targets’ responses. I’ve seen a child fall down, look around, see that Mum’s not watching but I am, discount me, wait several seconds until Mum turns around and then burst into floods of “tears”. And I’ve seen kids who would regularly behave like little angels for hours for the carers at playgroup (kindergarten), then throw tantrums as soon as their parents walk into the room to collect them.
It’s actually one key to having well-behaved kids. Don’t reward bratty behaviour with too much attention, either positive or negative (looking at them in silence to let them know that you’ve seen them and aren’t buying it is not only OK but good), and they very quickly switch to trying other approaches with you. THEN give them attention. Positive rewards for positive behaviour work much better than other approaches. (Father of 4 and grandfather here.)