The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for April 03, 2024

Par for the course

Cheaper to keep her.

Happened to my eldest brother, but he deserved it…

Easier to push her off the roof. Medical Examiner can not tell if the person jumped or was pushed, just don’t have any witnesses.

Twice nothing is still nothing.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.

She said “A divorce”

I said I wasn’t thinking of spending that much :)

I bet he did get something. 100% of the family debt.

On the morning of their 20th anniversary, a woman walks into her kitchen and sees her husband staring at their marriage license and crying.

Touched, she sits across from him and gently asks “Are you thinking of our wedding day?”

He replies “Yes, 20 years ago today your father pointed a shotgun at me and told me to either marry your or face 20 years in prison. I realized that today I would have been free”.

Don’t get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house… Johnny Carson

sounds like a standard cut…

She got the gold and he got the shaft.

Why are divorces so expensive? Because they’re worth it.

Go home and give Gladys a big hug Brutus .

ouch… maybe the boss will let you sleep in your office cubic thing… Hi! :D

It’s a lose-lose situation.

Yep, that sounds right.

The only thing more costly than divorce is remaining married.

Better and cheaper than living in Hell. However everyone, except the Attorneys, are losers when it comes to a divorce. I’m sorry that it happened for all involved…..

Keep Gladys, Brutus – no matter how disgruntled she can make you, you don’t want to end up like your buddy. Besides, you’d probably end up with Mother Gargle.

We’ve never seen any sign of marital discord between Brutus and Gladys not involving spending, cooking, and Mama Gargoyle. And Brutus has learned how to handle at least the first two. Leave well enough alone big guy!

Our view of the economics of divorce are skewed by the high-profile divorces of the ultra-rich and famous.

After a divorce, women have much less wealth, income and are more likely to fall into poverty than men. Since women are more likely to have custody of the children, they fall into poverty as well.

Do you know why divorce is so expensive—because it’s worth it.

I knew a guy who got three things out of a divorce: single, the new car, and the bills.

Down-size before filing.

It may turn out cheaper in the end, now that you’ve gotten rid of the old money pit.

Typical of modern divorce laws, which are totally biased against men.

The wife was lucky to get 50%.

At least our hero doesn’t have to worry about Gladys divorcing him!

And you got squat.

Sounds just about right….

Some people marry forever, and some think they have. Then things change.

Did he marry Mother Gargle other daughter? Caveat Emptor. Marriage license cheap – divorce cost arm and leg.

As good a reason as any to stay married, I suppose.