Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 12, 2024

Cheating the customer will ruin your reptiletation.

“I, um, already collected my tip!”

Great visual gag!

Alright buddy, regurgitate the other three or I’ll file a complaint.

Carrying charges.

Larsonism.

It must be the hamster rationing.

Eh it ours new diet special. To helps you loses weight.

He’s the Hamsterburglar.

No tip for you! And just wait for my Yelp review!

“Hmmm. I guess the guy in charge of counting must have somehow seen the 9 printed upside down.”

One time I ordered ten hamsters.

And that’s why I never have food delivered.

I don’t use delivery services often. Is this a common occurrence?

Sorry, I got hungry……I credited your account…

Hey, you knew he was a snake when you trusted him to deliver your food.

It was nine, then ate, then six.

EWWWBRR FEES!

The positive feedback was hamsterung.

Wouldn’t tofu-ster be healthier?

Shrinkflation.

Come on, cough up the other 3.

Off topic – Brings to mind Monty Python: “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

“The ones on top got cold, so I took care of it.”

He collected his own tip on the way there.

Delivery by Door Slither

Delivery guy was checking for freshness and tenderness – but it doesn’t appear that he chewed any of them.

It was a ‘dead’ giveaway.

I stuffed a gerbil once.

How did the delivery snake manage to “carry” the bag?

Now, he’s looking a little rattled.