Sometimes a teenage Olympic athlete will write an autobiography, but if their life consists of school, practice, and nothing else, it could be a boring book.
Is it going to be a full exposé, warts and all? Confessions to deeds done, flirting with danger, not to mention Suzie, Full discloser of various machines?
Do we even think about our lives in retrospective until our early teens? I remember very little of my first six years even now… maybe a total of a dozen or so hours altogether.
I remember them telling me to write an autobiography in grade school. It was a short story and I ended it with “..and I lived happily ever after.” I don’t remember my grade or the teacher or the class or anything else about it, but I remember that. I’ll have to wait to read my biography to find out what really happened.
BE THIS GUY over 2 years ago
And it’s double spaced.
codycab over 2 years ago
Either they’re seeing the problems here or just stating the obvious because…well they can.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
Can you even write six years’ worth of autobiography on one sheet of paper?
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 2 years ago
There are second row “celebrities” who wrote their biography at the age of 30. And they have never worked in their life.
in.amongst over 2 years ago
1 page at a time, Calvin – 1 page at a time! Keep going…
dadthedawg over 2 years ago
Write large…..
eastern.woods.metal over 2 years ago
So just make up the rest of your life
sirbadger over 2 years ago
Sometimes a teenage Olympic athlete will write an autobiography, but if their life consists of school, practice, and nothing else, it could be a boring book.
Charles Barr Premium Member over 2 years ago
All he needs is one line: “I drive everyone around me up the wall.”
Concretionist over 2 years ago
Seize the moment!
allen@home over 2 years ago
All the things Calvin has done to Rosalyn would take way more than one sheet of paper.
Red33410 over 2 years ago
“Teacher only gave me one sheet of paper.”
Bullet Bronson Premium Member over 2 years ago
I was born.
I met Hobbes.
The end.
jvo over 2 years ago
All it needs is just one line….
https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes
….of course that sheet has to be made of hyperpaper :D
Mr_Cool over 2 years ago
“It was a dark and stormy night……”
DaveG1960 over 2 years ago
Is it going to be a full exposé, warts and all? Confessions to deeds done, flirting with danger, not to mention Suzie, Full discloser of various machines?
Susan00100 over 2 years ago
It’s sad to see anyone with that smug “know it all” expression that Calvin has in Panel 2.
He obviously picked it up from his dad.
adunano367 over 2 years ago
You should probably skip the parts with bed-wetting, spanking, etc.
Imagine over 2 years ago
Fortunately we can rely on Bill Watterson’s documentation of Calvin’s life instead of having to rely on Calvin writing an autobiography.
orinoco womble over 2 years ago
“I started out as a child…”
ACK! Premium Member over 2 years ago
I love Calvin’s fourth-wall looks.
jagedlo over 2 years ago
Hobbes…the voice of sanity in the third panel!
dflak over 2 years ago
I am writing my autobiography. So far it’s a couple of gigabytes. and I’m only half way through.
It starts off with, “Born in a humble log cabin in Brooklyn, New York, I studied electrical engineering by the fireside …”
Too presumptuous?
colddonkey over 2 years ago
Oh hell I’m 69 yrs young and could fit mine on one sheet of paper.
potfarmer over 2 years ago
Most people could accomplish that.
flagmichael over 2 years ago
Do we even think about our lives in retrospective until our early teens? I remember very little of my first six years even now… maybe a total of a dozen or so hours altogether.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 2 years ago
I remember them telling me to write an autobiography in grade school. It was a short story and I ended it with “..and I lived happily ever after.” I don’t remember my grade or the teacher or the class or anything else about it, but I remember that. I’ll have to wait to read my biography to find out what really happened.
brick10 over 2 years ago
One sheet is hardly enough to write the confession for his latest caper.
A Hip loving Canadian... over 2 years ago
Sure tell the world you came from a Kmart Blue Light Special.
mindjob over 2 years ago
Susie would read it if it wasn’t covered in boogers
boydjb47 over 2 years ago
Great punch line.
sandpiper over 2 years ago
Condensing personal info is an art long overlooked.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
I think I could write a book called “famous people I’ve met” – and not even cover one sheet of paper.
The Wolf In Your Midst over 2 years ago
“In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Troglodyte over 2 years ago
Is it A4 or foolscap, Cal? :D
Bruce1253 over 2 years ago
How about “I build the best and most disturbing snowmen there are.”
mistercatworks over 2 years ago
I have an idea it will be an “autohagiography”. Calvin has never been humble.
Calvins Brother over 2 years ago
Does anybody remember anything that happened before being 2 years old?
snowedin, now known as Missy's mom over 2 years ago
That should cover it, then.
Not the Smartest Man On the Planet -- Maybe Close Premium Member over 2 years ago
Funnier, if: Panel 3: Hobbes: “You’ve only got one sheet of paper.” Panel 4: Calvin: “I’m just six years old.”
assrdood over 2 years ago
And the final question……..How will you write the ending?
Bilan over 2 years ago
But will he explain the noodle incident?
Otis Rufus Driftwood over 2 years ago
There was a strip later on where Calvin was writing a ‘revisionist autobiography’. Another Watterson warning on where we were headed?