Close to Home by John McPherson for December 20, 2019

His sins are all here in the book lady. Along with yours.

Being a fink isn’t heavenly.

“Fine, and snitches don’t get in either.”

Living near you, we’re giving him credit for ‘time served’…

Gee, I’ve always wanted to turn my head 180 degrees!!

Maybe he repented, but it’s obvious that you haven’t.

I always wanted to live in a gated community, hopefully none of my neighbors will be in line behind me. And yes, I’d be dying to get there.

She’s in the wrong line

You do know, missy, that book in front of “Mr. St. Peter” is not a dictionary, right?

Your outburst is both officious intermeddling, and a clear indication of the state of your own soul.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

Should have kept it to herself and quietly become the next whistle-blower.

That is ok because all harpies go to hell, here let me escort you to the elevator shaft.

I wondered what happened to her. I knew her in 2nd grade always telling the teacher on me.

There’s a special place for you self-righteous, good-tellin’, teacher’s pet types.

Wow, a tattle tale at heavens gate. I am sure St Peter needs her as much as the teacher did. I wonder if a rat gets through the gate?

Well, that’s two of you who aren’t getting in.

President of the H.O.A.

Well lady, per the Bible, ‘all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God’. So nobody deserves to get into Heaven by that standard. So, just how does one get in then? It isn’t on a point system.

waaaa waaaa waaa!!

Don’t worry- they know. He isn’t in, yet!

You can if you do stretches and “EXORCISE” MORE!

Snitches get stitches hmph

Gossips don’t go to Heaven.

Think she’ll smell her finger?

so if Bleeb is in Heaven, I guess we all know where Deacon ended up

Just St Peter your holiness will do. No need to call me Mister.

And you Gladys Kravitz are a nosy busybody!

Well, I’ve got news for YOU Lady! (And I use the term loosely) That’s Sheila Velk right in front of you! Didn’t recognize her with the natural hair color, huh?! Now there’s gonna be a BIG brawl and none of you are getting in! I mean, unless St. Peter wants to play a little poker . . . Bleeb, one goin’ DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hmmm, yes…I see it all right here in the book. Lemme see, had an affair, cheated at poker, jaywalking…WAIT-A-MINUTE…you let your dog bark all night!!!!! That’s it! Down stairs with you, sir!!

And how did she know about him cheating at poker???

Owl bet that would hurt for a while… at least until the neck muscles stretched a whole lot more.

And here she is, so heavenly bound she’s no earthly good.