Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 28, 2019

Slippery slope to “just don’t try.”

Drastically lower your definition of success.

“Do, or do not. There is no try.”

Bienvenue Monsieur De Lapalisse

You just might be, Pig.

Right up there with the common advice to the depressed.

“Stop being depressed!”

Success for Dummies: the Cliffs Notes version.

Just keep moving the ball forward ………..

That’s like the secret to eternal life: keep breathing!

In a Pig’s ear…and out the other!

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

The devil being in the details, and it is all details.

We need to pass a law: Fail Less. Then people won’t fail!

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”—Woody Allen

The shortest distance between two points. Pet more, meow less.

Become a scientist. Then it doesn’t matter whether you fail or not.

Then there’s the Clark Howard saying: “Save more, spend less, and avoid getting ripped off!”

Trying is the first step towards failure

Just handle success like I handle dating: Lower expectations.

If at first you don’t succeed, go have a drink. No sense being OCD about it.

Many people like simplistic messages which are really complete nonsense, but I have failed to understand why.

I fail right up to the point that I succeed. I’m really good at failing.

“Fail less” does not guarantee success. Just like “not negative” doesn’t necessarily mean “positive”.

If you do absolutely nothing, you will never fail. However, you will never succeed either. Thomas Edison once remarked, concerning the invention of the incandescent light bulb, that he learned a lot of ways to get it wrong before he got it right.

We never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do.

Like the strategy for winning a basketball game…score more points than the other team.

Actually history shows that the key to success is to fail as often as necessary until you succeed. But you have to learn the right lesson from each failure.

But the really successful people learned from their failures

If you do not fail often enough then you are not trying hard enough.

A dear friend who we have known since before she was successful was among those at the top of her field for a number of years before changing fields. (It is one where most people age out.) Fans used to write of her amazing successes as if they were all that happened. When she complained to me that the admirers did not see that what really happened was that “for every 20 times I was knocked down I had to get up 21 times” I suggested that she tell them that. It is a phrase that has stuck with me ever since that conversation.

Flawless.

Which is worse – do and fail, or don’t do?

You’ve just summed up every pre and post game commentary ever. Well, maybe not. Throw in a 110% and point out the obvious that better defense means the other team won’t score.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

What succeeds?

A parrot that can’t close its beak.

I stand in awe of your wit, Pig! It is truly astonishing!

Pig, your IQ is over 9,000.