Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 22, 2018

A shifty shiv shard should slice or shank his scruffy shaving sector.

The one at the far left. With no thin sections, it’s least likely to break when cutting through blood vessels, tendons and other gristly bits. It also offers a variety of edges, one of which is bound to be sharp enough for the work. As a bonus, you can get a better, safer grip on it—you don’t want to risk cutting your fingers and shedding your own blood in one of those awkward on-the-job accidents.

That guy is putty in her hands. What a tool.

Which shard should she choose? Which shard could she choose. There really was no choice. There really was only one shard for her. She knew it from the moment she saw it. It was The One.

Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce que c’est?

Psycho-killer on the loose!

Which throat slit shard should she choose?

Strawberry shortcake,

Gooseberry pie

Vee Eye See TEE Oh Are Why!

[Alternate ending – V I C T O R Y!]

Death by a thousand paper cuts.

I almost shard my pants!

… and I thought this was going to a darker place … pffft

The one that reads “killing you softly with a thousand tiny love cuts.”

A moment to reflect about their broken history as lovers..

Any port in a storm, they say. Any shard in a defensive murder, I say. But paper cuts will take too much time killing the psycho, whose resistance is doubtless preternatural. I recommend breaking any glass object (drinking glass, window pane, etc.) and using a shard of that to do the bloody deed far more efficiently and speedily….

Sound’s like something right out of The Razor’s Edge.