Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for February 14, 2018

But you get an all you can stomach buffet.

I love cruises. I had to talk my mother into coming with my wife and 2 adult children. She asked about getting ill or stranded. I told her those are the ones that make the news, you don’t hear about the thousands that make it to port successfully. She decided to come, and it turned out to be one of the highlights of her life, she had a great time.

We had a deal where I bought her ticket and she bought the alcohol, I had a great time too.

I hear the SS Minnow has those 3-hour tours, great for first-timers.

This is spot on! Right! On! The! Nose!

“Being on a cruise ship is like being in Prison, but with a better chance of drowning!”

Cruises usually run a little less than hotels in heavy tourist areas and they come with free food and some free entertainment and some free alcohol (Usually a free mimosa on boarding and a free glass of wine on one special day during the cruise). For vacations, they are usually a bargain.

With the cruise, you get to make your own hook worm and bot fly larva video.

I’ve been on three riverboat cruises and enjoyed them all. I’m going on a cruise around Puget Sound this summer. (Whale Watching)

Whaaaaat??! Cruising is awesome!

On second thought, no, you’re right it completely sucks. So, please stay away from cruising so I can take all the burden off of you. I’ll even take your empty suite as an upgrade to show my commitment. I don’t want you to be burdened by memories of port excursions and parties on beaches and all the other entertainment and casino fun. Nope, leave it all to me.

Here are two cruise suggestions for those who hate cruise ships:

http://www.starclipperscruises.com (about 200 passengers max)

http://marinelinktours.com/ (12 passengers – plus crew & chef, and lots of fun)