I first discovered that I was a feminist — before I’d ever heard the word — back when I was working on my 5-year HS class reunion and had volunteered to look up my classmates’ current addresses. Easy enuf to find the guys in the phone book under the names they had in HS, but the girls were another story altogether. Most of them had gotten married and changed their names. “Why do they have to do that?”, I wondered (the beginning of wisdom).
Only later did I find out that it was because women were traditionally considered chattel property, and that bit in the wedding service about “Who gives this woman?” was for thousands of years treated not as an innocuous pleasantry but as a binding contract between 2 men for the transfer of valuable property — which, of course, had to be promptly relabeled with the name of its new owner.
That’s one thing I never understood. As soon as you were married, the woman had the husband’s last name, but if they divorced, the woman had to go through a whole rigamarole to get her maiden name back. I only know of one person who didn’t have didn’t have to go through all that, as she made it part of the divorce decree that she would return to her maiden name. In my opinion, a woman should be able to drop her ex-husband’s name in a divorce as easily as it was to pick it up on their wedding day.
My ex kept my name after we split. She later remarried, but after that marriage ended, she went back to using my name. Maybe a little unconventional, but for her it made sense since my name is much simpler than either of her other two, plus her professional certifications were in that name. Keep in mind that the kids would normally have the father’s name too. I think the key here is that most women have the choice of what they want to do.
chris_weaver over 6 years ago
Name theft!
KEA over 6 years ago
The ominous start begins with “I do.”
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 6 years ago
I first discovered that I was a feminist — before I’d ever heard the word — back when I was working on my 5-year HS class reunion and had volunteered to look up my classmates’ current addresses. Easy enuf to find the guys in the phone book under the names they had in HS, but the girls were another story altogether. Most of them had gotten married and changed their names. “Why do they have to do that?”, I wondered (the beginning of wisdom).
Only later did I find out that it was because women were traditionally considered chattel property, and that bit in the wedding service about “Who gives this woman?” was for thousands of years treated not as an innocuous pleasantry but as a binding contract between 2 men for the transfer of valuable property — which, of course, had to be promptly relabeled with the name of its new owner.
Senex over 6 years ago
But in a divorce, she should have to give it back!
cbrsarah over 6 years ago
That’s one thing I never understood. As soon as you were married, the woman had the husband’s last name, but if they divorced, the woman had to go through a whole rigamarole to get her maiden name back. I only know of one person who didn’t have didn’t have to go through all that, as she made it part of the divorce decree that she would return to her maiden name. In my opinion, a woman should be able to drop her ex-husband’s name in a divorce as easily as it was to pick it up on their wedding day.
Hippogriff over 6 years ago
Many who became professionals under their husband’s name were rather stuck with it if later divorced.
WF11 over 6 years ago
My ex kept my name after we split. She later remarried, but after that marriage ended, she went back to using my name. Maybe a little unconventional, but for her it made sense since my name is much simpler than either of her other two, plus her professional certifications were in that name. Keep in mind that the kids would normally have the father’s name too. I think the key here is that most women have the choice of what they want to do.
Hippogriff over 6 years ago
As long as it is not for fraudulent purposes, anyone has a common law right to change their name without court permission.