Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 09, 2010

The Frog Applausians!

Regarding home-made guitars made out of fruit crates, somebody I know online has made some guitars our of cigar boxes:

http://www.maclife.com/forums/topic/117630

Well, I love the Sunday blog. I don’t want to be un-invited. And anyone who visits the blog daily should have expected the Sunday blog to be more of the same. The clue was in the name, after all.

Gosh! Those greenies have awfully big…boots.

P.S. I vote against fiery immolation; it is not one of my turn-ons….

It’s not easy, green being.

Here we go again. How many times does my grandma have to tell her kids. If you play with fire, you’ll pee to bed.

I’m going back to BirdBrains to regain my sanity. You people are nuttier than Aunt Gertrude’s fruit cake and I suspect have the same alcohol content.

Immolation is the sincerest form of flattery.

You like wiggling her toes? Kewl

I think Vlad got so excited after his last “hairbrush” treatment that an extended “vacation” was called for.

What will we do with no new FA’s for several days!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Flight Suit… those cigar box guitars look great. Gotta get one!

Report to HQ: Teresa’s cover as a cartoonist/blogger has been blown. She needs to stay at the safe house for the time being.

HQ: What happened?

Report: Well, the exchange went bad. They figured out that Teresa was trying to slip them a toad.

HQ: Geez. Where’s Vlad?

Report: After acting fast to get Teresa away from the drop point, he was pretty shook up. I saw him sitting on the curb for a bit, crying.

HQ: Well, for God’s sake, man, get out there and give him a hug!

And pretty legs to wear them.

I hate to breach the confidence that Teresa has reposed in me, but over at Tank McNamara I just posted the real reason for the FA interlude

Dear Mr. Bill “Whipping Boy” Hinds

You don’t know me, but I’m from Arkansas. Central Arkansas to be exact. And although I didn’t attend the school of the same name we are awfully parochial around here (meaning we have a hard time wrapping our minds around satire that involves a local boy who done good).

I demand that you stop this wanton, shameless (funny as hell*) attack on poor poor Scottie. I am prepared to back up my demands with the threat of real action. If you don’t change this story arc immediately, my friend Teresa over at FA has agreed to go on strike until further notice.

* I didn’t say that

That’s right buster. NO MORE FROG APPLAUSE for the remainder of the week unless you change your ways. Oh sure, Teresa* will claim the hiatus is for some other, unspecified reason, but make no mistake - you and you alone are responsible for the temporary absence of updates for FROG APPLAUSE and it’s sister site, FROG BLOG.

* This was not an easy decision for her - she worships the ground you walk on.

You’ve been warned. Govern your actions accordingly.

/s/ Big Wave Dave

if you set yourself on fire, they will not only love you, they will upload the video of your self- immolation to Utube and you henceforth will be immortal AND intriguing . try to scream loudly and wave your stubby little arms; it makes for great drama!

WHAT???!! No fish-net Friday!!!! MEH!

Rumor has it, T is having surgery to remove the webbing between her “fingers” and “toes” ☺

Difference between a frog and a horny toad?

F: “Ribbit”

HT: “Rubbit”

Make sure to do so in a public place… oh, and leaping from a rooftop - 4 or 5 stories will do - while totally engulfed in flames is a real crowd pleaser, as well.

As far as Teresa’s absence… remember that hernia thing a few months ago? Nighthawks! You were supposed to suppress your aggressive sexual behavior!

know I don’t drop into the comment section as much as I used to… so how long has FA been a spam target… at first given the usual juxtapositioninal nature of FA and it’s content and comments, I thought this was a serious attempt at humor… wrong… this is someone actually trying to sell us “stuff”… as MzB would say..”where are the gocomic overlords when you need them?”…..

Isn’t it obvious? She’s returned to her dimension to recharge her metabolic globulator. The breeding season starts in a month, and it takes lots of globules.

I thought everyone knew that.

just checked out the Frog-Blog and now I know what happened… the spam site is probably from MzB herself to pay for the re-hab she’s going through… as we speak…..

Teresa’s absence has the most mundane explanation: You may recall that some time ago I reported that Teresa had relocated to Bemidji, Minnesota to become the proprietor of Burritt’s Bemidji Bed and Breakfast, Bait Shop, and Tea Cozy Boutique (BBB&BBS&TCB). Well, fall has fallen upon the far North, and that means an influx of visitors who, in the spirit of the old French-Canadian Voyeurs, have come to watch the seasons change. Busy times at the BBB&BBS&TCB, cracking the whip over the staff and making sure the leeches all get little winter jackets, will consume all Teresa’s energy and creativity for the next few days.

Either that or she just decided to take a little time off.

Ahhh, the things we do for Love.

Um, she’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Teresa pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

“Sudden Departure?”,,, She’s found out there’s an open casting call for the Jean Seberg role in the remake of “Paint Your Wagon” in which Clint Eastwood, despite his age, is reprising his role as “Pardner”. Given her fixation with Clint and classic Hollywood, she is unable to resist the compulsion to be there in person when Clint croons his 2010 version of “I Talk to the Trees”…

Amen, olmail - I still get goose bumps watching Lee Marvin’s “Wanderin’ Star” number.

Dr. Evil erased the face that graced the Kansas cutie!

Thank you, Teresa! I love this little French girl in your blog video. http://obituarytypo.blogspot.com/2010/08/3-year-old-recites-long-poem-from.html

Too bad - I thought this would be a great movie poster for the Blog:

lrope, I had not watched that video. The little girl is very enchanting.

He’d better hurry up with the self-immolation before that elephantiasis turns scrotal–or worse.

Teresa’s on hiatus? I don’t know if I can Burritt.

out of context : delicious strawberry flavoured death i’m watching fringe and that line cracked me up

please teresa, come back - we will bring you pudding pops and bad film noir

i know i’ve emailed vlad earlier but never have received an invite :(

OK, my theory is that she is, at the request of a cabal of dissident Irani lawyers, conducting a seminar high in the Pamir Mountains of Gorno-Badakhshan on the effective demolition of hierarchical power structures by means of sarcasm. Or, at least, that’s what I’d be doing in her position.

This place is nuts!!!!! :-P

Hahahah! Yea Bristow! Thank you Teresa!

Ditto that 3hourtour,,, starting my morning without FB and FA,,, well it’s just criminal. Especially on FNF…

Anything to help out with FNF withdrawal:

http://tinyurl.com/FNFsubst

GASP! …need … air … fast!

Ottod - that is just cruel….

Thanks, Vlad and Teresa, for getting me into FA Sunday. Since I was on a waiting list I thought I’d never get in. Good for Teresa. She figured out a loophole so more than 100 people can visit.

I bet that guy has a slow-burning snout.

My God, the first day without FA - it’s like a day without, uh - without LIVER AND ONIONS! Yeah, that’s it - like a day without liver and onions (or maybe without stuffed bell peppers, not the red ones, the green ones).

See, it’s getting to me already - I can tell…

I’m having spasmodic withdrawal symptoms, and it’s only been 24 hours since Teresa abandoned us.

Free Teresa! (Missing Frog Blog enormously.) Sic’m Vlad…… Sic’m Blogspot……

I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

@Bob. I’m not sure who said so, but one of the posters said a few days ago than anybody who wants into FA Sunday can write to Vlad for how to do it. I received my invitation early on, so I’m only going on what I remember seeing here. I think it was Bristow who shared this tip. Check back through old comments or just write to Vlad.

T., crew rest’s complete, the jet’s fuelled, the peanuts and Dom Perignon stocked. I’ll collect you and return to the Frog Blog Shop but I need to program the route of flight into the nav computer. So, where are you?

Missing Teresa very much both FA and FB-wise. This is bad! Hopefully we lucky few will get our Sunday fix tomorrow!!!

Hurry back, Miss T!

Maybe there is a magic word we can use to summon the Frog Mistress if said three times fast in unison…. Like “Beetlejuice” or something.

Or maybe if we kiss the Frog, or Vlad. Any volunteers?

And just a moment’s reflection on this day, September 11…

Comments are turned on on the Sunday blog. Unfortunately, none of mine will take. This is not good…..

Grrrrrr!

I cannot comment either. I have tried setting up a blogger account, using different profiles all to no avail. It just clears out everytime I click post. Is there a secret handshake or something?

I am desolate! I received an invitation to the Sunday Frog Applause but I’ve misplaced it. Help! Can someone point me to it?

Thanks, whoever took care of my problem!