Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 29, 2016
Transcript:
crippling self-conscious alert april is crippling self-consciousness awareness month. millions of americans suffer from csc. take a good long look at yourself. you may be at risk! do you begin to sweat when strangers watch you eat? remember, you'll never look sillier than when you're chewing! do you touch your face a lot to make certain your features are fully intact? are you doing it right now? do you suddenly become aware of how your voice sounds, causing your syntax to tangle and your sentences to disintegrate? man: who's a good boy, huh? who's a. uh. wha a goo. who's a dog. boyagh agh a hrrn. is this problem exacerbated by public speaking in any form? woman: two super cheezie nacho beef chimachimacheefa nacho chimpanzachabee. twobee. and a. two those angahrrn agha hrrn. speaker: you want a drink with that? if you answered "yes" to any of the above, you should try these simple yet effective steps: 1. stay home. 2. check your features regularly. 3. keep a third-person narrative of your head at all times. 4. speak with an accent, like irish or jamaican. 5. always avoid the um. maybe or! not. those uhh. thing. ok forget i said. agh hrrn.
Hugh B. Hayve over 7 years ago
I be gwon wit da Jamaican accent mon, me tell ya rastclad boi now.
Cilliers over 7 years ago
The speaker/microphone’s unfazed response is the absolute killer!
gbars70 over 7 years ago
gaahhh! I have all four!
Sisyphos over 7 years ago
Let’s all join the awareness campaign for the millions of our friends and neighbors suffering the crippling effects of insidious CSC. Send your donations now!