Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for August 31, 2016

Braggart.

Didn’t they used to just call them ‘safes’?

We always called them rubbers.

One of the funniest comic bits I ever heard was from a British comedian. He was talking about how important humility is to his countrymen. He said they had humility training programs, and that one of the exercises was to go into a drug store and find the condom display. The student was then required to hold up a package of them and loudly call to an employee on the other side of the store: “Excuse me. These condoms are much too large. Would you have anything smaller?”

Condos – the disadvantages of houses plus the disadvantages of apartments. And HOAs.

The large ones make bigger balloons. What, isn’t that what they’re for?They make funny noises when you let the air out of them, too. You can use them again and again to make noises. The funniest noise was from an old lady who asked what I was doing when I put one to my mouth and I said it was okay, I’ve used it before.

Euphemisms are popular with networks, viewers, and comics syndicates!

The sign over the machine said, “For the prevention of disease only.”

Was this strip actually drawn before they started putting the condoms on display? Having them behind the counter and having to ask for them probably kept a lot of kids from practicing safe sex (yours truly among them). Even at 18, I could not bring myself to ask the pharmacist for a package of condoms. And in some small towns, the pharmacist might tell your parents about your purchase. Things are a lot better now.

“Just one, kid? When I was your age, I bought them by the dozen.”

Summer of 42: “Do you know what they’re used for?”“Sure, you fill them up with water and you throw them off the roof!”

a customer once nervously asked me where the “Propalactics” were, I’d never heard that word used for condoms and had to ask him what they were, he kept himming and hawing over it, but I finally understood what he wanted and told him where to find them in the pharmecy department (I worked in the hardware department). I still wonder if he ever found the nerve to take them to the checkout. (Supposedly the guy was married because he kept saying his wife had asked him to pick up the condoms).

“Price check on condoms! Price check for condoms for the young man at aisle one!”

@TexTechKeeping the condoms behind the counter (which I think was supposed to stop kids from having sex, but might have just be to prevent shoppers from being shocked when they walk by the display) certainly led to a lot of unsafe sex, but putting them on display was not a sustainable alternative, because it’s almost as embarrassing to check out with the product, so people would just shoplift them.

I know they are often on display now; I’m not sure why that works, but maybe it’s because the AIDS crisis forced sex into the open enough that people are a little less shy about buying condoms.

I loved the line in Rocky 2 where an investment counselor is advising Rocky to invest his prize-fight winnings in condos, and he says “I never use ’em myself.”