Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 30, 2016
June 29, 2016
July 01, 2016
Transcript:
Goat: What are you doing, Rat?
Rat: Analyzing all of my failed romantic relationships to determine if there were any factors common to each of them.
Goat: Have you found anything?
"ME"
Rat: How do I break up with me?
I could suggest a few ways, Rat. Some are more painful than others (see the verses of Dorothy Parker for a hint), but all would be extremely and permanently effective….
Sometimes I wish Rat’s parents had had a “failed romantic relationship”!…BUT, if that had happened, there’d be no “PB4S”, & Steph would have to go back to being a lawyer…HE doesn’t like that idea either!
I sometimes choose not to comment when others have already made my point, but this is too astonishing to bypass — Rat being introspective? Anybody checking the thermostats in Hell?
You know. you know how it is with me, babyYou know I just can’t stand myself.It takes a whole lotta medicine, darling,For me to pretend that I’m somebody else.—Randy Newman
BE THIS GUY almost 8 years ago
Oh my God! Rat is being honest about himself!
Sherlock Watson almost 8 years ago
Try using a hacksaw, Rat.
bigcatbusiness almost 8 years ago
Try hypnotizing yourself… or perhaps a therapy?
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 8 years ago
Surprisingly candid assessment.
CalLadyQED almost 8 years ago
What? Rat being honest and self-aware?
blunebottle almost 8 years ago
I have to admit, Rat, sometimes I have felt that way too.
water_moon almost 8 years ago
aww, he’s being candid and honest enough that I feel sympathy for him, and he even made it to the 4th panel without screwing that up!
anna.i.bykova almost 8 years ago
Is that Rat???? What happened to his Everyone-Sucks-I’m-The-Perfect-Guy? The surgery side effect?
Sisyphos almost 8 years ago
I could suggest a few ways, Rat. Some are more painful than others (see the verses of Dorothy Parker for a hint), but all would be extremely and permanently effective….
Egrayjames almost 8 years ago
His analysis was correct…he factored it down to the one common denominator…..but the ME should be below the line.
juicebruce almost 8 years ago
Don’t remember Rat every dating………………
ArtyD2 Premium Member almost 8 years ago
What have you done with Rat? Check for pods.
derdave969 almost 8 years ago
He’s overlooking the other common factor: all his dates were women.
Daniel J. almost 8 years ago
Oh, no. Self-awareness. The final step in Artificial Intelligence.
It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine….
Chad Cheetah almost 8 years ago
Have a pretty split personality
Starbossa_1341 almost 8 years ago
Insert lyrics to Mercy Me’s “So Long Self”…it fits!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member almost 8 years ago
Sometimes I wish Rat’s parents had had a “failed romantic relationship”!…BUT, if that had happened, there’d be no “PB4S”, & Steph would have to go back to being a lawyer…HE doesn’t like that idea either!
whiteheron almost 8 years ago
Rat is the commonest factor I know.
tom almost 8 years ago
Hey! I resemble that!
mblase75 almost 8 years ago
http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0535/6917/products/dysfunctiondemotivator.jpeg
paullp Premium Member almost 8 years ago
I sometimes choose not to comment when others have already made my point, but this is too astonishing to bypass — Rat being introspective? Anybody checking the thermostats in Hell?
zeexenon almost 8 years ago
You enter the Twilight Zone, that’s all. See you there. We can have a smoke with that guy who died of smoking.
Vonne Anton almost 8 years ago
I wonder if Taylor Swift reads this comic.
peabodyboy almost 8 years ago
You know. you know how it is with me, babyYou know I just can’t stand myself.It takes a whole lotta medicine, darling,For me to pretend that I’m somebody else.—Randy Newman
knight1192a almost 8 years ago
It’s called six down and three across, Rat.
TMO1 Premium Member almost 8 years ago
This is what Taylor Swift and Christie Brinkley should ask themselves.
K M almost 8 years ago
As Lucy once said to Charlie Brown, “The fact that you realize you have a problem indicates that you are not too far gone.”
Die Barney over 3 years ago
What about Farina and Christmas tree girl?
alantain 8 months ago
Or you could try being a better person. Of course, Pig will probably have his pilot’s licence by then.