Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley for May 01, 2016

This is one of many reasons why cats will never take over the Fuzzyverse.

The second one won’t take 5 years….5 minutes more like it…

And people buy it, ad infinitum.

That’s how fake ones work, not real ones, and there are real ones. One of the best and most accurate I know has a PhD in cell-surface chemistry. One of the best examples I’ve seen was when an odd little old clairvoyant in Edinburgh did a Tarot reading for me. All I told her was that I wanted advice on a difficult relationship, and maybe that I’d had a quarrel with the person in question – it was nearly 30 years ago. I certainly did not tell her anything at all about the friend in question or anything which would remotely indicate to her that he’s fully bisexual (which is quite a rare preference), and she and I had never met before and she had no way to know whom I was asking about, but she gave the cards a sour look and said “Is he, er, half and half?” I used to make my own living doing Tarot readings, and far from making Barnum statements and then bending them to suite the client, I frequently ended up with the client sayin g “Oh yes, that must be X” and me saying “No, I really don’t think the cards support that”. I wasn’t 100% accurate, of course I wasn’t – but I was a great deal better than random chance. And which is more likely – that I am the only real clairvoyant in the history if the universe, or that there are a lot of real clairvoyants, as well as some fake ones? Just as there are, of course, fake doctors and fake accountants, as well as real ones.

Looks to me as if Neil’s collar is on too tight.

I didn’t see any mention of December.

The authorities announced this morning that a dwarf psychic who preys on elderly widows had escaped from maximum security prison. The public is warned that “there is a small medium at large.”-—————(ducking now)————————-

And Bucky thinks Satch is stupid?

Call me when you can predict what the lottery numbers are Neil.

Hey, this fellow could run my company!

Does Neil have a last name?

Whitehound’s tirade is that YOUR psychic is fake, but MINE is real. Kind of like your religion vs mine.

Well I have been interested in the paranormal. Since the 70’s. At the beginning I was a believer. Over time I never saw any proof of horoscopes, psychics, ancient astronauts, etc. But I have seen more con artists than I could count. I am more likely to believe you found a person who wants your money than a person who is in touch with The Other Side.

Not so much 2 days off as 6 months off. Just like the Church …

Neil could write stump speeches for Rafael Edward Cruz.

Psychics have three basic tricks. Predict a huge number of things and then cherry pick the winners to establish a reputation (Jeane Dixon was famous for that). Predict the blatantly obvious, or at least the statement that the odds favour – “I predict that the probable next president of the United States will be over the age of 65, and I also predict that the Toronto Maple Leafs will draft Auston Matthews in the NHL Draft.” Finally, make predictions so vague that they are subject to multiple interpretations and then when an event happens that can be interpreted as matching one of your predictions exclaim, “You see, I was right!” Nostradamus has been getting away with that one for centuries.

Obama still has time to claim he is transgendered and identifies as a woman.