Monty by Jim Meddick for January 25, 2016

Draw an outline. Pretend it’s screaming when you “accidentally” don’t miss.

Use knife-tipped boomerangs and make it really interesting.

This would have been better with the rich kid and Jarvis.

I’d step out also when the guy throwing the knives can’t tell the difference between a sled and a LCD TV.

Hello,Moondog; why don’t you come over and well hang for a while, have a few brews,, and I don’t know ,well think of something else to do!

Paint a target on the tree? Set up a box? Anything else, basically?

You’re not supposed to practice with a live person, but with a corporation. There must be a Target near you.

I practiced that as a kid, but on large oak trees in Simsbury, Connecticut. I wanted it to go whiz-chunk, whiz-chunk in quick succession. Never did. Inspired by an Addams Family movie, and a James Bond. Missed out on a great career. (Not!)

You’re right, NeedaChuckle. But since we all saw the punchline coming a mile away, it’s not funny anyhow. I bet Fleshy will be able to write his name with thrown knives in that plywood panel as soon as the humans go away. Any takers?

You draw an outline, like they did for Ed Ames, then playing “Mingo” on the TV show Daniel Boone, on a very early Carson Tonight Show. Let’s just say that once the laughter from the first attempt died down — several minutes later — Carson started it right back up by screaming, “Welcome to Frontier Briss!!”

I’m with E.B.! Monty has no skills, and I value ALL my body parts!