Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 09, 2015

Transcript:

unrelated developments by richard thompson tv: jeanne calment, dead at 122. man: ha! it's only a matter of time and the glory is mine alone! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in his room, the world's third old-est man (1141/2) learns he is now #2. alas, he laughs too hard. martian 1: and the balloon pops & this skateboard with a camera on it rolls out & pushes some rocks around for a while & now we think the batteries are running out - martian 2: if this is their notion of technology we can take over the earth with a couple of blunderbusses loaded with rocksalt! martian 3: may i be excused? i have sand in my pants. on mars, the council of six meets. oop: having established a d.c. homeowners! association answerable only to congress, we'll now begin installing speedbumps all over town. oop: that should lure back the "suburbanites." wink wink. oop: wink in the district of columbia, the plan is in full swing. wink. but what america wants to know is - woman: is the "cathy" in the comic strip going to get married too or is she just going to go on a big eating binge? dog: as long as she doesn't eat the little dog. that would be sad. tissue of lies