Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 20, 2015

There are several innocent jokes I could make here, but I’m opting for the gutter.:What are you hoping to get, Pig — head or tail?

Sherlock, good one….

Pig seems quite satisfied with what he understands to be the outcome. And I for one am glad if it’s true that he shall never marry Pigita (ugh)!Undie Sweet Fanny, Cartoon-Boy!

Don’t get married. Why ruin a perfectly happy relationship by getting the government involved in it?

Good advice for once, Rat. And not to worry, Pig. It’s easy. As “they” say: just find a person who despises you and give her your house. You’ve got a good start and can go straight to the finish line with Pigita.

Actually you ruin a perfectly happy relationship by getting an inlaw involved in it…

probably for the best, Pig

A couple of years ago at a grocery store the checker handed me the change and I dropped a nickel, which bounced a few times and came to rest standing on edge. I was totally blown away. “Look at that! Look at that! Do you have any idea how improbable that is?” The checker snapped her chewing gum and was totally, totally unimpressed. I tried to explain the concepts of center of gravity and the laws of probability to her, but it was for naught. If I had tried to explain it to my dog, I’d at least have gotten a more enthusiastic response.

Is anybody else fed up with the constant fake-Adobe pages that pop up on Gocomics? The thing starts downloading without my permission. And today there was a Java pop-up; real or not?

Rat seems to be the ultimate idealist here, not a cynic…

Hey Sherlock, actually what he was looking for is something on the side!

I’ve actually had this happen to me several times. I never realized I was missing “The Right One” over and over…

Excellent decision, Pig!

…and hence he lived happily ever after.

And you’ll be all the better off.

I have no intentions getting married at all. Even if the coin I flipped landed on it’s edge.

I’m enjoying my life as a single woman.xxx

@buckyboots Not real, and possibly indicative of a nasty adware virus that sticks that ad in websites that wouldn’t normally display them. Try running malwarebytes.

As I wrote somewhere else yesterday, I like Matt Walsh’s approach: I didn’t marry her because she was the one; she became the one after I married her. I can safely say that’s how my marriage has worked out. I believe it was Helen Keller (or at least attributed to her) who said, “Marriages aren’t made in heaven. They come in a kit. You have to put them together.”

Pig’s expression in the last panel is priceless.