Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for December 13, 2009

He could just slither his way out! It what he knows best.

Good Sunday Morning Thom Thom

OH NO, the salt bath.

So big, so tough, in your shell.

’Salt & battery??

Since Hinkle does’nt seem to have a shell he has to be a slug.

My wife spends her summers as a serial killer. Slugs die daily if they dare show their presence around her. Her arsenal includes Sluggo, slug bait, garden shears, etc. But she hasn’t hog tied them yet. LOL

What did he do? Put a slug in somebody?

So is the guy in the hat named Sluggo? (Anybody get that?)

Thom, Lonewolf, it’d be nice to see an even distribution of strips on the main page of this site. I ask you to please cut back on the nearly daily favoriting of this strip so that we can see some of the other 150ish strips there on an equal basis. I realise this is a favorite strip of yours, but let’s not get out of hand. It seems like the majority of times I come to this site’s main page, your strip is staring back at me.

Yes, Nancy, we did. Hey where is Digital Frog? I miss

his humor.

Shalamar

You’ve been a member since 12/10/2009. What are you talking about?

Shalamar. That’s what a favorite is. If this is my favorite, so be it. If you have a different one, then you choose that one.

“It’d be nice”??? Nice would be a site without trolls. Now THAT’s a favorite.

N’est-ce pas?

Take pity on him. Give him a beer first.

C’mon Hinkle! You can slither your way out of this, you’re an arthropod!

You slime!

Good one MoParMitch!

Good one, JFried! Dry, I got it! What did Hinkle do to deserve such torture?

A slug is an arthropod?

Shalamar,

Are you offended that more people are not offended by Birdbrains? How offensive! I’m offended to think that you think that I think I control this site and purposely make Birdbrains the coop du jour!

I am gratified, however, if the offense you’ve taken is generic in nature and spawned by the nature of my cartoon. Personally, I find my humor low, disgusting and downright unfunny. I can see how it would be offensive to see it as a favorite and I can see how it would have prevented you from enjoying other cartoons on GoComics. That’s what’s so dang offensive about Birdbrains - it’s like pigeons sitting on your shoulder, thinking you’re a statue. Offensive, to say the least.

I would like to thank you for reading Birdbrains and for being offended by it. Please know that I will continue to make it as offensive as possible to keep you (and others) reading. Please make it your favorite.

And to the rest (and you know who you are) - my DEEPEST gratitude!!!!

Thom, Offender General

That’s a “Four Star Offensive General”! Get it straight. LOL

Nicely said, Thom.

Hi Thom,

I’m not offended in the least. I read your comic regularly and would enjoy seeing it in my local paper.

The point is that I see it front and center on the main page with surprising regularity, and that regularity is manufactured by a single individual.

I count myself as a fan of many different comics, including yours, and am simply asking that one individual to cut back on their habit of trying to get it front and center as it detracts from all the other great strips that appear on this site, of which there are many.

Whether you, as the offender general, will reign that in is entirely up to you. That’s only my request, and I don’t expect to see much support for that request here.

Shalamar

Again, you have only been a member since 12/10/2009!

I like the artwork and such is the reason I “favorite” this strip.

I don’t see how one individual can dictate what shows on the “front page”. Maybe I am missing something.

Further more, if you don’t want to see it on there, become a Genius and you will have your own “Home Page”.

Shalamar,

Hmmmm… uh… um…. uh… well… uh… uh huh…. hmmmm

So… you’re offended by one of my readers?! I think I’m offended… mmmmm… uh… hmmmm….

I’ve never been offended by proxy before, but this seems like a good time to start so… yes, I will take offense to your taking offense because one of my readers doesn’t take offense to this offensively stupid cartoon. You see, Shalamar, I think it is unlikely that just ONE of my 21,742 (at latest count) regular readers makes my stupid cartoon their favorite. Are you saying there is a cartoon god reading and “favoriting” MY cartoon? Are you saying Lonewolf is THAT cartoon god?

Why wouldn’t you want the cartoon god to read Birdbrains? And why would YOU be offended the cartoon god finds Birdbrains ONE of their favorites?

I cannot and do not control which cartoons are the favorite on this site (no matter how hard I try, I am NOT the cartoon god). Perhaps you have too little history here to see that Birdbrains is NOT ALWAYS (dang!) the favorite du jour, but trust me (and I say this as a real cartoonist) - it’s not. It may be the most offensive cartoon, but it’s certainly not always the most favorite.

Thank you for reading Birdbrains, being amuzingly offended and being offended by a Birdbrains reader(s). Can’t we all just be birdbrained together?

Hmmmm…

Thommmmm….

HEY!! I want at least a little credit for offending Shallowmar here. Many of us regularly ‘Favorite” this comic, for reasons that are not clear to passersby.

…but, I have been asked not to feed you.

Furthermore, stop messing with our Chief and our Lonewolf.

Mopar, check the other venue.

MoPar -

Credit given. :) This is all so offensive.

Offending even when not asked to do so,

Thom

And on other matters:

Mollusc, not Arthropod.

OK, Thom, that did it! Now I’m offended–that someone takes offense when you were not being offensive, and you take credit! See if I don’t!

Shalamar it takes more than one person to make a strip a favorite to show on the front page. Which says to me that other people also favorite this strip, and says to me, if that’s the most iimportant thing in your life you have to worry about, you are one VERY LUCKY man or woman! And yes you can become a genius for a mere .99 cents a month and pick your own home page.

Well put Dry! I couldn’t have worded it any better myself!

Thank you! Gee, you watch one football game and all h e l l breaks loose while you’re gone.

We need Carmy’s snowman over here!

Yeah, where is Carmy, anyhow?

Bargrove - Nice to know I’m missed - I seldom make it online on the weekends and there’s a few of us that like to alter our avatar names for the holidays.

Thom Beautiful artwork, as usual, I hope that doesn’t offend you. :()¦

Some people are inveterate gamblers, my theory is that Hinkle is an invertabrate gambler…

This rhetoric on being offensive has got to be one of the

funniest things yet. Read it all, folks, and see if you don’t

come away with a dizzy head because of all the circular

definitions going around. Lots of left turns from the

right-hand lane. Thom, you are a clever guy. Funny!

On the positive side, they did manage to get Hinkle to come out of his shell…

You’re right Steve, and that is my fault, but I specialize in chordates, all insects mollusks and nematodes are simply protostomes to me. I should have stuck with the general.

I guess my SnowCop got here too late. Good to see that all is well here now.

Johnnydoc5 - I’m offended that you could mistake a mollusc for an arthropod!

I’m offended that many of you are trying to grab my Offensive Thunder!!

When they say Christmas is for giving, I don’t think they’re talking about offense….

“And you’re a banana slug, and everyone knows they’re yellow!”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. The only difference is that one’s homeless and the other isn’t.

Man, now I’m offended. :))

You PEOPLE make this much more fun than I deserve!!

THANK YOU!! What a hoot this one’s been! Who would have thought an offensive little slug about to be tortured to foam could be soooo much fun!

Shalamar, thank you for bringing out the offense! Well played indeed!

And to the rest of you - OMG!! Funny, funny, fun stuff! Thank you! Especially the technical stuff - now I know I can make mollusk cartoons and not be thought of as an arthropod! Free, at last!

Thom, Offending because I can

Hey all, don’t believe Thom…………………he deserves it!

OK, everybody, get your torches and pitch forks and we’ll meet outside Thom’s house. Who’s bringing the rope? Oh, wait! I sell rope! I’ll bring it!! Think Thom will be offended when we string him up??? (JUST KIDDING!!!)

String up Thom! He!! no! We should string up Shalamar…. and sprinkle salt on … err… it.

aww…be kind guys…all of us trolls dont kno them rules just yet but we enjoy your bantering its holiday season…be kind n merry

hinkle cld be a winkle without his shell

daftpunk * you’re right - it’s been ages since I heard the term *Winkles. Love it! And I’m not even offended!

Thom, I don’t get offended if a student doesn’t know a mollusc from an Arthropod – I’ll certainly be more forgiving of a cartoonist (or is that out of character for this strip?)

(Yesterday’s Baldo never explained the difference between “prokaryotes” and “eukaryotes” – now that’s offensive!)