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John McPherson makes us howl at his adroit mix of everyday settings and extraordinary events. John’s offbeat, oddball characters turn up in familiar places, but their actions are always hilarious and unexpected.
Interested in a Close To Home Original?
Contact John: john@closetohome.com

Invite John to Speak at Your Organization
Please contact John's Speakers Bureau, The American Program Bureau, to request more information on how to bring John to come speak to your group.
Contact:
Brenda Kane
Senior Agent
Email: bkane@apbspeakers.com
speaking topics and speaker profile for more info on what John speaks about.
© John McPherson - All Rights Reserved.
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Comments (10) (Please sign in to comment)
George Tirebiter said, 3 months ago
“Please hold while precious moments of your life tick away…”
Notsoastute said, 3 months ago
That could apply to any of the “1-800- Eat Shi*” numbers.
Paul Rozeboom
said, 3 months ago
Actual honestly is refreshing
Terri Brittingham said, 3 months ago
They;re probably all from India anyway.
Dewed said, 3 months ago
Yeah at least they’re honest
J. Short
said, 3 months ago
I just spent the last 3 hours straightening out problems created because someone didn’t do their job correctly.
1 Cut off cable tv service. Turns out they got my account mixed up with someone elses. Took at least an hour; 45 minutes of that was on hold.
2. HVAC people coming back to do job they didn’t do right.
Of course they can’t get the part till after the weekend. No heat this weekend. If they got it right the first time, the part would have been here by now.
I figure about a 1/16th of your life is probably spent trying to get back to where you were before somebody messed up your stuff.
Thanks I feel much better now.
J. Short
said, 3 months ago
almost forgot…5 year warranty on heater motor expired recently. Opened a new jar of Almond butter and it was only 2/3 full. Is this Friday the 13th?
Popeyes4arm said, 3 months ago
or reading GoComics
Notsoastute said, 3 months ago
@J. Short
Look on the bright side: It will get worse, always does.
Lora4848
said, 3 months ago
@440RoadRunner
I think the long version of the song was over 20 minutes – perfect!