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John McPherson makes us howl at his adroit mix of everyday settings and extraordinary events. John’s offbeat, oddball characters turn up in familiar places, but their actions are always hilarious and unexpected.
Interested in a Close To Home Original?
Contact John: john@closetohome.com

Invite John to Speak at Your Organization
Please contact John's Speakers Bureau, The American Program Bureau, to request more information on how to bring John to come speak to your group.
Contact:
Brenda Kane
Senior Agent
Email: bkane@apbspeakers.com
speaking topics and speaker profile for more info on what John speaks about.
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Comments (14) (Please sign in to comment)
win said, 5 months ago
Armed response.
Dora Dingle said, 5 months ago
Lose cannons
N7326 Foxtrot said, 5 months ago
Er….really a BB gun will do nicely, and is a lot closer to being legal to own.
Notsoastute said, 5 months ago
It isn’t the walking that bothers them. It is when he stops.
Rx71Wm29 said, 5 months ago
Yeah, go ahead, poop in MY backyard! Make my day!
battle of plattsburgh said, 5 months ago
I’m with the homeowners on this one.
Saskfan said, 5 months ago
@N7326 Foxtrot
But I’m sure the NRA would approve of the response.
reese828
said, 5 months ago
@Notsoastute
Exactly what I was thinking.
Sandor_at_the_Zoo
said, 5 months ago
“An armed society is a polite society.” Robert A. Heinlein
Pharmakeus Ubik said, 5 months ago
Quite the disproportionate response.
Tim said, 5 months ago
I walk my dogs AFTER they do their business in MY backyard. Stupid people deserve cannons pointed at them.
Mike H said, 5 months ago
Gleerberman enderman..
Seiko said, 5 months ago
Onward the poodle ménage !
Half a yard, half a yard, half a yard more.
Into the garden of Gleeberman !
angelfiredragon said, 5 months ago
Reminds me of a little story I saw in the news awhile back. Someone who was known througout his neighborhood of walking his dog and not cleaning up after it, his dog got his wallet and ate several hundred dollars worth of cash. Later on he did not notice when it leave it on someone’s lawn.
Once the dog owner realized this he began searching all the place he KNEW his dog had done its business and one of the home owners told him while cleaning up the terds he found cash in them. The dog owner Demanded the cash back, the home owner refused thus the dog owner was going to sue.
However the home owner washed and cleaned up all the cash and told him he could have it back for a dollar amount that was slightly more than the amount of cash in it. The home owner even billed him for it, said you admitted to your dog leaving this here, you requested it back, I cleaned it up. You are now required to pay.
It was settled out of court, but lets just say that dog owner always carried a baggie from that day forward.