Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 15, 2016
NEWS of the TIMES: toddler menace. A report that more Americans were shot last year by toddlers than by isalmic terrorists has shocked an incredulous, frightened nation! Trump: until we figure out what's going on, we need to build a wall around america to keep these kids out! Luckily, playpen gates are cheap, interlocking, and at colorful! Americans are fearful. Man: Its scary! I mean, I live with a toddler! Im gonna have to buy some more guns to protect myself! Legislation has been introduced to limit toddlers' access to firearms, at least while in the "terrible twos" But the NRA has blocked it! Polticican: the only way to stop Bad boys and girls with guns… Is good boys and girls with guns. Increased surveillance of the tots where they congregate has alarmed intelligence sources. Here are toddlers engaged in what could only be described as military training. Trump: Meanwhile, the news that americans are as likely to be killed by terrorist as by furniture has sparked new panic! Trump: until figure out whats going on we need to ban the import of Persian rugs and ottomans!
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