Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 14, 2011
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Adventures of... DEFINITELY-NOT-GAY-MAN DNGM Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: This costume is totally NOT GAY! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man, in his secret identity persona as Evangelical preacher Rodney Strate, is searching the internet for gay porn to preach against, when - Secretary: Pastor Strate! Pastor: Oh! CLOSE WINDOW Secretary: A gay bar has opened downtown! Pastor: Hmm...this is something I'd better investigate as... ...Definitely-Not-Gay-Man! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: Just as I feared! It's a den of depravity! Oh, no! It's HIM! My arch nemesis! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: VERY-VERY-GAY-MAN!! Very-Very-Gay-Man: Hi, there, Deffy! I'm here looking for some cute guys! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: V.V.G.M., don't choose this sinful lifestyle! Very-Very-Gay-Man: Choose? Honey, I didn't choose to be gay! I've ALWAYS been gay! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: NO! Homosexuality is a CHOICE! Very-Very-Gay-Man: So you choose to be a heterosexual? Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: DAMN STRAIGHT! Very-Very-Gay-Man: Then you're saying you have gay urges, but you CHOOSE to resist them! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: NO! I don't have ANY gay urges! Very-Very-Gay-Man: Then how is your heterosexuality a choice? Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: There! I hope I proved to you that I COULD have been a homosexual but chose not to! Very-Very-Gay-Man: Right. Oh, I can't do next Saturday -- my parents will be in town. Next: Scheduling Mayhem! Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: Hmm...I can't do it Friday -- I've got a Defend-Marriage Pancake Supper...
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