Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 13, 2005
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Hard-Boiled Justice of Judge Scalia Our story thus far - JUDGE SCALIA found a baby judging in the woods and is raising him to become the perfect SUPREME COURT NOMINEE! Judge Scalia: "I trained young John Roberts in the way of the two-fisted conservative judge." Carry that water! "Of course, my friends the Founding Fathers helped." Ghost: That's right, John. When I wrote about the right to bear arms, I did intend to include semi-automatic weapons. John: Got it. "I taught..." Judge Scalia: A judge is the humble SERVANT of the Constitution's text. John: But what if the text dictates a liberal result -- like allowing a vote recount that could elect a democrat president? John Scalia: Er...but nor is he its SLAVE. "He learned..." John: Master, what paper trail should a nominee have? Judge Scalia: Conservative enough to get base support... ...but ambiguous enough to confuse liberals. "He grew..." You must be as placid as a lake when pelted with Congress' questions. John: "It is inappropriate...UNH...to comment... ...on...OOF hypothetical cases." "He strengthened..." Judge Scalia: This board is like a judicial precedent. You must tell Congress it is SOLID! But once you're a justice, it is yours to smash! "Until at last he was ready for law school." Go! Practice what I've taught you. And I'll see you on the bench in 25 years!
More From Tom the Dancing Bug
'Tom The Dancing Bug' Creator Ruben Bolling Awarded The 2017 Herblock Prize
February 25, 2017
'Tom The Dancing Bug' Turns 20: Ruben Bolling's Award-Winning 2017 [Interview]
June 29, 2017