Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 31, 2004
The Insult that made a man out of a "Girlie-Man" Hero: Hey! Kicking that sand is interfering with the public's enjoyment of the beach! Villain: I'd smash your face... Only you're so liberal, you might want to marry me! Hero: That conservative bully! Lady: What a Republican hunk! Hero: Darn it! The G.O.P. says it can make me a real man! I'll give it a try! Running up deficits! Caving in to corporations! Bombing foreigners! I can do it! This assault rifle is legal in this state, pal. Villain: I hear ya! Lady: Wow! What traditional values! HERO of the BEACH Hero: Get off my beach before I carpet-bomb you! Governor Arnold says... "Don't me a girlie-man" President Bush asks: "Are you a Breck girl?" Are you a preening elitist flip-flopper with perfectly coiffed hair and a vaguely French manner? If not, I just might accuse you of being one. You need ME to make you a real testosterone-charged he-man. A man whose disdain for all things feminine causes him to seek the company of other powerful, muscular men. A man whose discomfort with homosexuals causes him to break into a sweat and mutter about the Bible and the sanctity of marriage whenever one is near. A Republican man is a REAL man, and we can make you one. Send to RNC, PO Box 57T, Wash DC Name Address War heroes and other irredeemable sissies need not apply.
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