Ted Rall for February 09, 2009
Obama: It'll take at least a year. Several committees. Probably an entomologist. Woman: Got a listing for Khalid Bin Abdullah Mishal Thamer Al Hameydani? Man: Holy Allah! The U.S. is all washed up!! Man: No! Not true! Keep terror-ing... we need scapegoats! Guantanamo is a mistake, but we can't just close the camp and let the prisoners go. Why? Because it's extremely complicated. How complicated? Very complicated. For example, many of the detainees have long Arab names. The phone company wouldn't have a clue how to list them in the White Pages. After all those years, some of these guys may have turned gay and fallen in love. Since Gitmo was outside U.S. jurisdiction, do we have to let them get married? Then there's the biggest complication of all: what if the terrorists come to the U.S. - and realize that they've already won?