Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for February 21, 2017
Grandpa, I don't like the word undead. It's chauvinistic. The undead can move, communicate, think. They have DNA, they're made of hydrocarbons, they create entropy. They're just a form of life that happens to look similar to dead humans. So we categorize them as not alive and not dead. But, if the criterion for undeadness is just alive, but looks dead, then we should call anyone over 60 undead! One quality of life is the ability to reproduce. Zombies, vampires, mummies... None of them can do it. Oh my God. That's true of old people too. Are you saying you're undead?! Technically, only grandpa is undead.