Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for September 30, 2011
Bliss: You wretch! There is a little boy who is in dire need of that medicine! Jack: Tsk. Tsk. And there is an army of pirates who will make a fortune off of it - that is unless - Bliss: Unless what? Jack: Unless we strike a deal - become my bride and I shall permit the medicine to go to the village riffraff. Bliss: Rip? Jack: Don't ask him to give you away, my dear - he's about to be the victim of an accidental drowning. Rip: I'm starting to resent all the things you know about me.