Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 16, 2009
Narrator: Rip, plagued by feverish delirium, recalls meeting TNT. Rip Haywire: Your dog howls all night. He's freezing outside! TNT's Owner: Misbehaving again, huh? I'll fix him good! TNT: Yipe! Rip Haywire: Touch that dog again, and you're toast! I've got p.e.t.a. on my speed dial! TNT: He'd calm down if you neutered him.