Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 05, 2017
January 04, 2017
January 06, 2017
Transcript:
what's the right band instrument for you? guy: ow the sousaphone try handling this thing in a stiff breeze without incurring a major malocclusion. it's a regular orthodontist's delight. avoid this one. the viola the most ill-tempered member of the notor-ious string family. currently under indictment for arranging a hit on the woodwind family. viola: tonight the bassoon sleeps with the fishes. cello: right, boss. the glockenspiel about as musical as a baby's pull-toy. you might as well just jingle the loose change in your pants pocket. dinky dinky dink dinkadink dink dink dinkydi dinky dink kid: stop.
Ain’t a glockenspiel, though. It’s called a bell lyre, a sort of half-assed half-glockenspiel made to be played with one hand and held with the other, while marching. A real glockenspiel lies on a table and is played with both hands. Most people who play bell lyre are people whose actual instrument is something like oboe or bassoon, things that are too delicate or too fussy to be marched with.