Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 17, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac .news from mars. by richard thompson alien 1: kind of damp looking, ain't it? alien 2: i hear it's fulla phonies. alien 3: i keep pickig up fox news in my fillings. this week the earth continues to loom oppressively large in the martian sky. authorities are bracing for outbreaks of heightened aggression, panicky consumerism, covetousness, headaches, vertigo & feelings of inferiority because earth has nicer stuff that we do. alien 1: but look how big their cars are.. alien 2: ooh. alien 3: phew - it smells like the monkey house at the zoo. alien 4: beat it! at a press conference today supreme high martian equal-in-chief xomar (francis) zybort called for calm & expressed hopes that earth would soon jut, you know, back off, for crying out loud.