Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 07, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac new harry potter book spoilt by richard thompson if you're like us you're a huge harry potter fan without having actually read any of the books, so you won't mind if we give away the plot of the new book "harry potter & the doomspell tournament," due out july 8. first, harry is mistakenly charged with public indecency and "sent down" (expelled_ from hogwarts school for magic youngsters. voldemort united soon after, he meets a troll, an ogre and a talking dragon who are "soccer hooligans" (sports fans). they dislike harry on sight & give him a curbstomping, but he's ok. later, while riding on his magic flying "quidditch" (dodgeball) broom, harry is sucked into the left engine of virgin airways flight 104, but he's ok. scrod & leeks... 24p banger & fla finally, harry gets a job sweeping up at a "chip shop" (diner. without his magic powers as a crutch, harry at last finds happiness. he falls hard for deirdre the waitress, but he's ok.