Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 31, 2013
halloween spooktacular 3 short tales of terror man: eeek house of creeping cottonballs a kindergartner brings home an innocent-seem-ing class project that comes to life, expand-ing uncontrollably until the whole house is a heaving mass of cottonballs, glitter & glue! woman: eeeek cat: please, i'm trying to read. string the uncanny nap this lady wake sup from a brief nap to find herself in a parallel universe where cats control all the media! garfield is twice as ubiquitous & advertising is done with dangly pieces of string! man 2: eek lower level you are here hell cinnabon parking lot mall of the damned a guy goes to the mall to take ad-vantage of a sale on men's pants. but he gets lost & wanders for days! then he finds a map that says he's in hell! and all the pants on sale are relaxed fit wide-wale corduroy in "sphagnum green"!