Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 24, 2016
Stephen: What's the matter, neighbor Bob? Bob: My wife and I are trying to adopt. What a pain. Background checks, letters of recommendation, blood tests, interviews, home visits, huge fees. You have kids. What'd you do? Stephen: Got drunk and had sex. Bob: I give up. Stephen: And they seem like good kids...at least the few times I talk to them.