Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 16, 2014
Stephan Pastis' wife has left him. As a result, he has started dating again. Pastis: Listen... I had a wonderful time tonight. But I'm not sure we're a good fit. Lady: What's wrong? Pastis: Well don't take this the wrong way, but you're kind of a worrier. And physically, you're not really my type. Lady: What do you mean by that? Pastis: Well, no offense, but you're a little out-of-shape. And your hair's a bit your hair's a bit stringy. Lady: Is that so? Anything else you'd like to add? Pastis: You have no nose. Lady: Please don't draw on my face. Pastis: But it looks soooo much better.