Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 12, 2014
Goat: What do you have around your neck, Rat? Rat: 'Brain Alert'. It's my new invention for old people. Pig: What does it do? "An old persons telling a story when suddenly, he can't remember something that he's known for years." Man: And then the President before Reagan...you know, President...Oh, c'mon. The peanut guy. "On the verse of appearing like an old fool, he presses a button on the pendant around his neck." Man: Help! I've fallen mentally and I can't get up! "And our 'Brain Alert' team swoops in." Team: James Earl Carter. 'Jimmy' for short! "The 'Brain Alert' team will even help you with personal matters." Man: My grandson's name is... Team: Aiden. But you don't like him. Poorly behaved. Rat: We're even thinking of expanding our service to younger folk. Although the test-marketing on that has not gone well. Test 1: Sure has been nice to meet you... Test 2: Who the @*#@ is that? Team: Gina.