Matt Bors for August 15, 2008

Transcript:

For male politicians, working inside the beltway is like flying into the BERMUDA TRIANGLE of sexual fidelity. Party Boys Interns Crack Hos Male Pages BBW Now that John "She Was In Remission" Edwards has been outed as pond scum, Obama appears to be the last faithful officeholder. Barack Obama: I pledge to KEEP MY PANTS ON long enough to pass health care reform! HOPE I Don't Cheat! Marriage Vows You Can BELIEVE IN But Edwards may be able to keep his political career alive if he follows the McCain/ Gingrich strategy of MARRYING your current mistress. Newt Gingrich: Wait until the wifey's in the HOSPITAL to discuss the divorce! John McCain: They're medicated - it's totally maverick! HEH SNICKER Then, he could stage a comeback in 2012 when his LOVECHILD is old enough to stump for him. Child: I'm the GRANDSON of a mill worker! How cute! A spittin' image!