Matt Bors for March 12, 2008

Transcript:

Iraq has now become the THREE TRILLION DOLLAR WAR But was it really a clever protectionist measure disguised as a disastrous invasion? George W. Bush: A lot of imaginary money was spent, but the cost of NOT GOING could have been in the QUADZILLIONS. Princeton economist Dewey Wellington explains: Dewey: There are 25 million Iraqis. If they each robbed a U.S. bank, our country would be worse off than, well, Iraq. We maybe stopped that. Critics say bankrupting the country should be done by wasting trillions here at home. Bombing all public schools (under $2 trillion) Increase social security benefits 10,000,000,000% for one lucky senior. As the dollar crashes to peso-like levels, future generations will be unable to comprehend the scope of our waste. Marv: You used to be able to wage a WHOLE DUMB WAR for 3 trillion. Man: Shut up, Marv. That can't buy a ding dang loaf of bread! NEXT COST CALCULATION? AFGHANISTAN, THE MORAL MONEY PIT!