Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for March 28, 1999
Transcript:
Bernie: You know, I'm a rational man, Mike. I'm just glad the market isn't. Mike: Amen. Bernie: Given any more thought to taking your company public, Mike? Mike: Yeah. I'm just not sure of how to proceed. Bernie: It's simple, Mike. You start by offering a "thin float", a tiny percentage of your shares. The scarciy drives up the price, especially because you're a dotcom. You then use the capital to pump up the business which will further inflate the share price. You focus on growth, never profit. Profit is for suckers. After a year or so, you dump your equity. By the time rational valuation kicks in, you're retired on your wine estate in Sonoma Valley. Mike: I see. And at what point do the police come for me? Bernie: They don't. They go after the traders stealing to cover their losses.