debonismichael26 about 14 hours ago@avenger09How would you have spruced up this story’s plot, if you were writing it?
(From late yesterday)
Very reasonable question.
I’m not a fan of the Moonie stories and I’m sure everyone knows I despise Mad Mindy but I’ll try to approach this as neutral as possible.
My version will ignore all the restrictions and rules Team Tracy has to deal with so it might be unprintable but hey, “It’s just a fantasy!”
1. First off I wouldn’t have had the 2 ladies come at all since it was foolish of the Govassador to place them into an unstable situation. Having said that let’s keep them in the story.
2. Kill all the needless story filler, Honeymoon strolling with moonteen, Mad Mindy having a one night stand, way too much coffee drinking, etc. Stick to the rebellion.
3. It was the low point in the story to let Shay – Gin simply stroll away. At the very least if you’re not going to kill her you need to hold her captive.
4. Both girls played no part in the story. Despite my dislike of Mad Mindy I would have had her and Honeymoon help defeat Roe -Zan and his goons. You could have shown some conflict in MM before she intervened.
5. (Get ready, this is awesome) I would have caused major injury to MM resulting in her being in a coma. At some future date she would emerge with her Mindy memories restored. This would lead to some interesting plot directions.
6. Finally, Honeymoon gets a puppy named Fiddler.
July 27, 2017
September 11, 2017
October 25, 2017