Dick Tracy by Mike Curtis and Charles Ettinger for January 11, 2009

Ack, that scary clown face!

Um, someone who you do not know just waltzes in and you do not question them or order then out. How does she know about the cosmetic scheme? Was it the “Eau de Dick” that attracted her?

O M G!!! “Dr. Who?” Tess, if you don’t know her, how the heck did she get in the house?

She could be casing the house for a burglary! Ducky sighting in panel 4.

“Angelorious” makes me think of the name of a character from the European strip Asterix the Gaul.

“Ave, by Jupiter, I’m Legionary Angelorious on a secret mission for Caesar against those invincible Gauls!” I wish Obelix would show up, mistake her for a Roman and bash her teeth down her throat.

OK, I get it. A stranger to the neighborhood walks in off the street and has a plan to make big money.

Two things DT could do that would make sense: 1. Have Angelorious arrested at once for criminal trespass and scammy behavior. 2. Install door locks.

Something DL could do that would make sense: Acknowlege that an explosion with enough force to blow windows and doors off the house and move a car that’s twenty feet away from the house isn’t likely to be survivable even if you’re wearing a blast suit. Dr. Noll would be as dead as last Thanksgiving’s turkey. The sound of the blast could be heard at City Hall, the fire department and bomb and arson units would roll automatically. Neighborhood phone calls would locate the blast for the authorities.

“Wait”, “wait”, “wait, as Grok said. For that’s exactly what it seems Locher wants his readers to do.It’s a painfull bane to his writing style, simply GETTING TO THE POINT! The story started on December 12th after Braces was zapped on December 3rd. But readers had to suffer over 2 weeks of carefully construced “REPETITION” as if stalling while he “figured out” what to do next. Sorry to bore you with this reduplication, (for the second time) but it MAKES the POINT !! TRACY: 12-5 ‘He’s had it, done in by a robot’ 12-8 ‘Time to pick up the pieces’ 12-9 ‘Diet Smith’s robot won trhe battle’ 12-9 ‘Traze-R outwitted Brute Force’ 12-9 ‘But not without cost’ 12-10 ‘Traze-R your’e alive’ 12-11 ‘Traze-R saved us all’ 12-11 ‘Hello Chief our robot won the day’ 12-11 ‘I want to pass the good news on to Diet!’ 12-14 ‘One robot wounded, one exploded, gang leader bit the dust’ 12-15 ‘Diet your police robot was a success’. 12-16 ‘I’ve just had a close call’ The follow up to Braces death could have been dispatched in three daily strips but the Author had a staggering TWO WEEKS to sit, and dawdle while contemplating what to do next! Then it allowed him to ‘nap’ for over 4 weeks before deciding on what Tess was talking to Diet about ! Pity the readers whose newspapers carry only Sunday pages. Here is what the writer has accomplished in 5 Sunday strips, Week 1)Lizz says she will talk with Diet, as Diet is seen talking on his ‘phone to Tess. wEEK 2)Tracy saw Noll, Tess baked cookies and Groovy’s brother “Cos” telephoned Diet. Week 3) Almost a repetition of week 2 plus a panel showing Noll. Week 4) More of the same stalling again but in last panel, enter Ms. Dennis Rodman. Week 5) Word play between Rodman and Tess repeatiing for the THIRD time essentially what has gone before. PLUS an explosion in Noll’s house. In an earlier age the ‘Crime’ would have been committed 2 weeks ago and the action already roaring. Sadly, gripping ‘pacing’ in not a Forte of Dick Locher. He has proven this to be his Achillese heel “over and over” again! He may even end up killing local hero Dick Tracy (like Hector) with this miserable PACE !

It’s at ‘lean’ times like this that I feel sorry for Jeff. Locher has given him a ‘basket’ that can’t hold water. A scenario impossible to ‘defend’ other than squeeking out, “It’s just a comic strip”! But Grok gave a meaningful answer to that one yesterday

Wow, Grokenstein! Such a way with words you have. And your suggestions are just incredible.

Hey! Don’t try to link Doctor Who to this travesty, Locher! You’ll get Dick stink all over David Tennant.

Oh, and the pun at the end? Very droll. Like we didn’t see that coming. It’s obvious Dick Tracy’s supposed to be a drama, because NO ONE could mistake that for an attempt at comedy.

Locher has y’all bagged. he spents two minutes puttin up a horseapple strip and then sits back to a full day of entertainment from y’all’s comments

So if Tess doesn’t know her and Anthraxalicious doesn’t know Dr. Stumps, how the heck did she find out about Tess’ plan? Next to last panel - Dr Stumps has perfected the Glass Magnet as he holds the test tube by magic. The house is still passing gas. This has gone on for a week now.

SNOTPICKERS GRABBAG - When hiring adults to shovel your snow rather than the kids next door, don’t give them the codes for your garagre door opener so they can put your shovel back in the garage.

Gee, last week Tess was ALL for going into business with Clown Lady. Now this week, “I don’t know her, Dick”.

I don’t know about you but if there’s an explosion in your neighborhood, the cops and the fire department would be there within minutes. NOT in Locherland.

JonD17 wrote:

“Locher has y’all bagged. he spents two minutes puttin up a horseapple strip and then sits back to a full day of entertainment from y’all’s comments.”

That would explain a few things. If he is writing this just to get our nanny goats so we’ll write stuff for his amusement, I reckon it’s working.

About Angelorious: When I look at her, somehow it’s not the Heavenly Hosts that come to mind. More like the other end of the spectrum. Check and see if Satan is missing any demons, then see if there’s a good exorcist listed in the phone book.

So, if the unknown Mrs Rodman/Joker shows up unannounced and just walks in with a “get rich now scheme”, and while she is there a house in the neighborhood explodes (to varying degrees, depending on the day of the week), wouldn’t you think someone at the Tracy household would call the police? No wait, he is the police! Oh gee, maybe I just don’t have the intellect to follow such logic. Of course I keep forgetting it is just a comic strip. Actually that would be rather insulting to comic strips. N’est-ce pas?

Now Angelorious will offer to remove the snow.

Ok, I got curious, had to see whats been going on back here at DT. And this is what’s waiting for me? V for Vendetta’s ugly evil twin? Tess doesnt even KNOW her? She walks in on a day when fuzzbusters tells us not to hire strangers? Noll blows himself up (and will survive) in an explosion that Dr. Burnsen Honeydew from Muppet Labs would envy. And then, to make it worse Dickgelina makes a crack on Dr. Who?

Reading DT is like watching a train wreck, you just can’t pull your eyes away.

Really makes you feel sorry for the folks who pay money and read this mess in the newspaper. They have to go it alone.

OMG. I did pay someone to clear my sidewalks this morning. I’ll be at the door all day with a shotgun now.

Dypak, we were warned not to hire strangers for clearing the sidewalks. It’s quite alright to let them just walk into our home if they say they can make us rich. I think I got the correct message.

Akenta, You’re right, my mistake. I don’t think Evil Smiley Faced Clown would know how to operate a snowshovel in the first place.

Dypak says: Reading DT is like watching a train wreck, you just can’t pull your eyes away.

Really makes you feel sorry for the folks who pay money and read this mess in the newspaper. They have to go it alone.

I feel their pain. At least we can have fun with this mess, while they must suffer in silence.

Dypak says: I don’t think Evil Smiley Faced Clown would know how to operate a snowshovel in the first place.

In order to operate a snow shovel, she would have to be able to move her arms from their outspread position. I’m not certain that she can accomplish that.

I guess she could try the Adam@Home method, demonstrated today.

Is the explosion supposed to be happening as we read it? Or is it some weird type of foreshadowing?

“Angelorious” looks like the Impossible Man in the Fantastic Four comic book. And is at least as irritating.

Are you sure that Angelorious isn’t really “Frozone” from “The Incredibles”?

Should I be so nitpicky to point out that the coloring of Clown Queen’s clothing is different from last Sunday?

“Doctor Who?” Could it be that Mr Locher’s been watching some of that fine British sci-fi television. Anyone see the TARDIS nearby? Maybe we’ll see some nasty Daleks or Cybermen, though quite honestly, I’ll “settle” for some Vashta Nerada! Those buggers scare me!