Pat Oliphant for March 27, 2002

Transcript:

Aide: Mr. Lincoln, the slaves are demanding reparations. Abraham Lincoln: They're not slaves anymore - they're americans. Aide: I told them that, sir, but they still want the money. Abraham Lincoln: Very well - we'll give them full civil rights, the vote, affirmative action and all sorts of other preferential entitlements. Aide: Not enough, sir - they demand the money. Abraham Lincoln: We'll also throw in political correctness so nobody will ever dare criticize them. Ever! Aide: They want all that, and the money, sir. Abraham Lincoln: To whom should I make out the check? Punk: They also demand the academy awards.