Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 01, 1998

Transcript:

Kenneth Starr: The issue is not the substance of the statement, but whether Mr. Carter lied to the American people! I will canvass every aspect of Mr. Carter's psychosexual life until I get to the truthfulness of that declaration. Woman 1: He did once sort of leer at me, in that toothy way of his... Man: He cam in to buy a comb, a 3 musketeers bar and a Penthouse. Woman 2: I think he brushed up against me at the movie theater. Woman 3: I don't have any Carter lusting stories - but wait 'til you hear about the time Tony Orlando came into the restaurant! Starr: He will be forced to describe every sexual thought he's ever had. Man : I brought lunch. This could take a while. Starr: and I'm not in a pardoning mood anymore! News of the Times: Starr to Extend Probe to Jimmy Carter. Acting on a tip that Jimmy Carter lied during the 1976 presidential campaign, Kenneth Starr has launched an exhaustive investigation. The contested statement is Carter's comment in a Playboy interview that he has lusted in his heart. Subpoenas were served on over 20,000 females in Georgia who may have had contact with Carter from 1942 to 1976, as well as over 500 peepshow operators and convenience store cashiers. Carter himself will be questioned extensively. It is Starr's position that if Carter lied, then Gerald Ford unfairly lost the 1976 election and therefore may be in line for the presidency should Clinton be forced to resign.